Monday 6 July 2009

Do they think I am really that thick.


Yes I have cronic dyslexia.

However I try my best and work hard and yes did get an Hons degree from Leeds Met.
I appreciate not oxbridge but hey I turned out ok.

But when I opened my email inbox this am, having had a nice weekend away, I see it is full of new messages.
And some from new friends who i did not know I had, who think I am nice and trustworthy.

Just 1 question........when did dyslexia mean your thick ???????

A selection of recent emails below.....bwahahahaha

----- Forwarded Message ----
From: Elizabeth Bubb
Sent: Monday, 6 July, 2009 6:07:20
Subject:


The Uk National Lottery has set out and successfully organized a Sweepstakes marking the beginning of year anniversary. We rolled out over 10,000.000.00 (10 million e-mails) to mark the 2009 Anniversary Draws. Participants for the draws were randomly selected and drawn from a wide range of web hosts which we enjoy their BETA patronage attaching personalized email addresses to ticket numbers.

Your email address as indicated was drawn and attached to Ticket no:56475600545188 with Serial no:2113-05 and drew the lucky numbers 9-21-17-39-23-13(20) which subsequently won you 1,000,000.00 (One Million Great Britain pounds) as one of the 10 jackpot winners in this draw.

Please contact our fiduciary agent for claims with the contact below
Agent Name: Robert Gooch.
Email: claimsgroup8@hotmail.co.uk
1.Full Name:
2.Full Address:
3.Status:
4.Occupation:
5.Phone Number:
6.Country:
Congratulation!!

Sincerely,
Elizabeth Bubb(Mrs.)

----- Forwarded Message ----
From: vivian walter
Sent: Sunday, 5 July, 2009 17:51:48
Subject: Be Bless and please reply to this my private email vivian.walter10@ymail.com
From Mrs Vivian Walter

Dear Friend,

Please excuse this humble email if it offends your sensibilities, but I have no other means to contact you. I cannot talk on the telephone, so I did a search for your email address, which I found on the international business directorate email data search. My name is Mrs. Vivian Walter, a Christian widow who is dying of Oesophageal Cancers. I was married to David Walter, who was an Executive Manager of Shell Oil Company. We are both British people who worked in Burkina Faso until he was killed, but I am now moved back to London.

I have in a local bank the sum of USD$8.200.000 Million USD dollars which my husband deposited before he died in a tragic automobile accident where he was killed instantly. Because my doctors only give me several weeks to live I must find a good God fearing person who will see that my money is used for the benefit of the less privileged like homeless orphans and motherless babies.

My research says you are just the person I seek. Because you have been found so trustworthy, I will like you to keep 30% for yourselves and give the rest to worthy Charities. Maybe you could start the David Walter Foundation which will keep my husband name alive.

When you reply that you are able and willing to accept this responsibility I will send you the contact of my family lawyer who has been with us for long time now.
Please reply to my private Email: vivian_walter11@ymail.com

Be Bless as you reply positively,

Mrs Viviam Walter



----- Forwarded Message ----
From: mr brunior
Sent: Saturday, 4 July, 2009 22:08:48
Subject: VERY SECRET AND CONFIDENTIAL‏

BANK OF AFRICA (BOA)
FROM THE DESK OF DR BRUNIOR SHERE DUNKWU
BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER
BANK OF AFRICA (BOA)
OUAGADOUGOU-BURKINA FASO

Dear Friend,
I am the manager of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance department of
BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A) here in Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso . In my department we
discovered an abandoned sum of US$22.3Million dollars (Twenty Two Million Three
Hundred Thousand US dollars) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign
customer (MR. ANDREAS SCHRANNER from Munich, Germany) who died along with his
entire family in July 2001 in a plane crash. Since we got information about his
death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money
because we cannot release it unless some body applies for it as next of kin or
relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines and laws but
unfortunately we learnt that all his supposed next of kin or relation died
alongside with him at the plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.


It is therefore upon this discovery that I now decided to make this business
proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or relation to
the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for
it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as unclaimed
bill. The banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money remained
unclaimed after six years, the money will be transferred into the bank treasury
as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is
occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and a Burkinabe can not
stand as next of kin to a foreigner.

I agree that 30% of this money will be for you as a respect to the provision of
a foreign account, 10% will be set aside for expenses incurred during the
business and 60% would be for me Thereafter, I will visit your country for
disbursement according to the percentage indicated Therefore, to enable the
immediate transfer of this fund to you arranged, you must apply first to the
bank as relation or next of kin of the deceased indicating your bank name, your
bank account number, your private telephone and fax number for easy and
effective communication and location where in the money will be remitted. Treat
this business proposal with utmost confidentiality and send me the following
information.

1) Full names:
2) Private phone number:
3) Current residential address:
4) Occupation:
5) Age and Sex:

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text of the
application. I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is
hitch-free and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required
arrangements have been made for the transfer. You should contact me immediately
as soon as you receive this letter through my private email address:
bruniordunkwu55@voila.fr Trusting to hear from you immediately.
Yours faithfully,
BRUNIOR SHERE


----- Forwarded Message ----
From: ydod mbe
Sent: Saturday, 4 July, 2009 21:50:32
Subject: Please reply to this my private email ydod.mbe01@gmail.com
FROM: DR YDOD MBE.
AUDITING / ACCOUNTING DIRECTOR
INTERNATIONAL BANK OF AFRICA(BOA)
BURKINA-FASO WEST AFRICA.

My dear I am contacting you in regards to a business transfer of a huge sum of money from a deceased account. Though I know that a transaction of this magnitude will make anyone apprehensive and worried, but I am assuring you that all will be well at the end of the day. I decided to contact you due to the urgency of this transaction.

PROPOSITION; I discovered an abandant sum of $11.5M(Eleven Million Five Hundred thousand United states Dollars) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customers who died along with his entire family. Since his death, none of his next-of-kin or relations has come forward to lay claims to this money as the heritier. I cannot release the fund from his account unless someone applies for claim as the next-of-kin to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines. Upon this discovery, I now seek your permission to have you stand as a next of kin to the deceased as all documentations will be carefully worked out by me for the funds $11.5M(Eleven Million Five Hundred thousand United states Dollars) to be released in your favour as the beneficiary's next of kin.It may interest you to note that I have secured from the probate an order of madamus to locate any of deceased beneficiaries.

Please acknowledge receipt of this message in acceptance of my mutual business endeavour by

furnishing me with the following;
1. Your Full Names and Address.
2. Direct Telephone and Fax numbers.

These requirements will enable me file a letter of claim to the appropriate departments for necessary approvals in your favour before the transfer can be made. I shall be compensating you with $4.6 Million Dollars on final conclusion of this project, while the rest $6.9Million shall be for me. Your share stays with you while the rest shall be for me for investment purposes in your
country.

If this proposal is acceptable by you, do not take undue advantage of the trust I have bestowed in you, I await your urgent email.Please reply in this my alternative email address only (ydod.mbe01@gmail.com) for confidential reasons.

Regards,
Your;s faithfully,
DR YDOD MBE


----- Forwarded Message ----
From: Joshua Phares
Sent: Saturday, 4 July, 2009 17:40:42
Subject: Ticket no:56475600545188


Dear: e-Mail Winner,

The Uk National Lottery has set out and successfully organized a Sweepstakes marking the beginning of year anniversary. We rolled out over 10,000.000.00 (10 million e-mails) to mark the 2009 Anniversary Draws. Participants for the draws were randomly selected and drawn from a wide range of web hosts which we enjoy their BETA patronage attaching personalized email addresses to ticket numbers.

Your email address as indicated was drawn and attached to Ticket no:56475600545188 with Serial no:2113-05 and drew the lucky numbers 9-21-17-39-23-13(20) which subsequently won you 1,000,000.00 (One Million Great Britain pounds) as one of the 10 jackpot winners in this draw.

Please contact our fiduciary agent for claims with the contact below
Agent Name: Robert Gooch.
Email: claimsgroup13@yahoo.com.hk
1.Full Name:
2.Full Address:
3.Status:
4.Occupation:
5.Phone Number:
6.Country:
Congratulation!!

Sincerely,
Joshua Phares

4 comments:

subrosa said...

We all get these I think LotF. True what you say, do they really think we're all thick.

Mind you, I bet someone somewhere must answer them or they wouldn't bother sending viral emails.

The Last Of The Few said...

SR,

Oh yes I reply.

You should see the info they get back.

My address is normally 10 Downing Street London SW1.

Anonymous said...

Yeah,I actually got a REAL one of these kind once.
That was thick.

Anonymous said...

Fuck you All Scammers

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