Tuesday, 1 December 2009

About Time !!

No thats sarcasm.

In reality what the fuckity fuck is this going on ???

The Victoria Cross (VC) is the highest military decoration which is, or has been, awarded for valour "in the face of the enemy" to members of the armed forces of various Commonwealth countries, and previous British Empire territories.

The VC was introduced on 29 January 1856 by Queen Victoria to reward acts of valour during the Crimean War. Since then, the medal has been awarded 1,356 times to 1,353 individual recipients. Only 13 medals, nine to members of the British Army, and four to the Australian Army have been awarded since the Second World War.

Private Johnson Gideon Beharry being the latest receipiant for acts of selfless bravery in Iraq in 2004.

However In an unprecedented development, three civil servants are to be awarded the Victoria Cross, Britain's highest award for valour. The presentation will be the first time the award has been given to non-military personnel.

The medals, which are to be awarded by Her Majesty the Queen, are to be awarded to the three workers from the Ministry of Defence for 'Bureaucracy above and beyond the call of duty', and will be presented at the same time as many other civil servants will be presented with the Afghanistan campaign medal, the Operational Service Medal.

Perhaps the citations for the awards will read as follows:

"On 23 June 2009, Senior Action Co-Ordinators XXX XXXXX, XXXX XXXXXXXX and XXXXXXX XXXXXXX were caught in an extreme situation, with an urgent report on executive-bathroom usage statistics to be presented to senior Ministers and a desperate shortage of photocopier toner.

Despite severe resistance from the Toner Procurement Department, the three Co-Ordinators traversed fully three floors of MoD Main Building, and in an act of supreme courage used the photocopier in the Body Armour Reduction Unit in spite of not having documentary authorisation for the floor. The unit showed extreme presence of mind in ensuring that they retained an adequate supply of 4th-Floor Printer Foolscap.

Two of the recipients were wounded in the action, with Co-Ordinator XXXXXXX XXXXXXX receiving a grievous injury from a staple remover, and XXX XXXXX achieved the photocopying objective despite receiving three separate paper cuts."

Defence Secretary Mr 21 out of 23 Ainsworth praised the actions of the three civil servants, saying, "this high accolade is well-deserved - the important work of the Ministry of Defence to the War Effort cannot easily be quantified". Super Bob was further quoted as saying "I don't know how anyone can think that this totally devalues the awards presented to real heroes who actually put their lives on the line for Queen and Country".

Total Cretins!!!

Hat tip to the Oxford Geek and source here.


subrosa said...
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The Last Of The Few said...

Its inverted commas. I was quoting Bob Ainsworth in that sentence


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