Lord Fat Bastard of Pie

I am indeed referring to John "2 Shags" oooops sorry I mean John "2 Jags" Prescott for his acceptance of his peerage in the Dissolution honours list.

Yes that will be the same Prescott who famously said " I will never take a peerage" I do not agree with an unelected upper house.

BLOODY HYPOCRITE

He states he will be able to use the position to campaign for green issues.

Well I will bet the green issues are not salad.

More like mushy peas for the pies he scoffs the lard arsed liar.

I wonder what Tracy Temple thinks of this.................now there is a woman who wakes up every day and hates herself just a little bit more each time.

Trigger Happy TV

Was Dom Jolly not genius with this series.

40 Commando Suffer Another Loss in Afghanistan

Another marine from 40 Commando Royal Marines has been killed in an explosion in Afghanistan.

The Ministry of Defence said he was killed on Sunday night in an explosion while on foot patrol near Sangin in northern Helmand.

His family have been told.

Lieutenant Colonel James Carr-Smith, spokesman for Task Force Helmand, said: ''It is with sadness I must inform you that a marine from 40 Commando Royal Marines was killed last night in an explosion near Sangin in northern Helmand.

He was conducting a foot patrol in order to further develop the understanding of the local area when he was struck by an explosion.

This is the second loss for 40 Commando in 5 days.

This has Afghanistan losses since combat operations started at 290.



Source

Bwahahahahahahaha

A CROSSWORD fan aged 89 used an internet search to solve a clue about a donkey - and was bombarded with hard-core porn. Jack Sedgewick got stuck on 14 across: "Wild asian ass." The great-grandad typed "asian ass" into Yahoo's search engine in the hope of finding the answer to the newspaper poser.

But he was stunned when it threw up dozens of porn sites displaying photos of naked Asian girls. One offered "the hottest spicy asian ass you'll ever see". Ex-engineer Jack said: "I was shaken. The images were horrendous. I didn't know this sort of stuff existed."
Thank the Lord there wasn't a clue that said "hairy bear".

A Huge Hat Tip to Dizzy

ROFL

Another Afghanistan Loss

It is reported that a Royal Marine from 40 Commando was killed whilst on foot patrol.

Source

He was conducting a reassurance foot patrol in the Green Zone around Sangin when, tragically, he was struck by an explosion.

The latest death takes the number of British troops who have died in operations in Afghanistan since the mission began in 2001 to 288.


The use of IED's is without a doubt the single biggest killer of British Forces in Afghanistan.
To reinforce this the BBC (yes i know) produced a Panorama Documentary titled "A Very British Hero".

I have blogged about the work of this team before, about the unfathomable loss of SSgt Oz Schmitt.

Please get a coffee and follow this link, and attempt to study what the "High Threat Operatives" try to do daily.

I had tears in my eyes...........I dare you not too also

I am Psychic

Remember this post here


And what springs up on the MSM this am.

This little ditty here.

Come on Dave..................make the phone call.

Watch this space.

You did not know I had an inner sight did you !!

Written Ministerial Statement: Afghanistan

The Secretary of State for Defence (The Rt Hon Dr Liam Fox MP):

The significant increase in the number of international troops in southern Afghanistan is enabling commanders to make improvements in the laydown and command arrangements of coalition forces in the region. The first of these was the handover of security responsibility for Musa Qaleh district in Helmand province from UK to US troops on 27 March. This transfer allowed UK troops in Musa Qaleh to be redeployed to the population centres of central Helmand where they have increased ISAF’s capacity to protect the Afghan civilian population from the threat posed by the insurgency, and to train and partner with the Afghan National Security Forces.


On 21 May, ISAF announced that Regional Command (South), the ISAF command responsible for overseeing the operational activity of international forces in southern Afghanistan, will be divided into two separate commands: Regional Command (South West), headquartered in Helmand and consisting of Helmand and Nimruz provinces; and, Regional Command (South), headquartered in Kandahar and consisting of Kandahar, Dai Kundi, Uruzgan and Zabol provinces. The division of responsibility for ISAF troops in southern Afghanistan into two regional commands will ensure that ISAF can continue to provide the optimal level of command and control over its forces as they increase in size from around 35,000 in October last year to over 50,000 troops this summer. Furthermore, the separation of the commands along regional boundaries will align the ISAF military structure in the south with the structure of the Afghan National Army, enabling a greater partnering capacity between ISAF and Afghan forces.


ISAF intends for Regional Command (South West) to become fully operational over the course of the summer. The first commander will be Major General Richard Mills of the US Marine Corps, and the US 1 Marine Expeditionary Force, (Forward) which is already based in Helmand, will provide the framework for Regional Command (South West)’s headquarters component. The UK-led Task Force Helmand will come under Major General Mills’ command from 1 June. Subject to final confirmation in due course, the UK and US have agreed in principle that command of Regional Command (South West) will be shared on a rotational basis.


As a further element of ISAF reorganisation in Helmand, and as announced by ISAF last week, the British battlegroup based in Sangin and Kajaki, which comprises in the order of 1,100 troops, will transfer from the UK-led Task Force Helmand to the US-led Regimental Combat Team that is taking on responsibility for the north of the province. Under this arrangement, the battlegroup will not be relocated but for operational purposes it will come under the command of the US. In common with the other changes to ISAF’s command structures, the transfer of command in Sangin is intended to optimise the command support available to the troops on the ground in the light of the increase in the number of ISAF troops and other operational assets. The transfer will occur on 1 June.


The UK has been consulted throughout ISAF’s decision making process and we welcome the changes to the command arrangements that will enable ISAF to make optimal use of the increased forces now deploying in southern Afghanistan.

The Man is Clever !!

Tony Woodley - joint leader of Unite.

Fuck me sideways what a rocket Scientist.

You members of The Unite Union............... yes all 2 million of you.
Spending your 3 quid a week.
Giving Woodley and lard arse Simpson and lets not forget the lovely cuddly Charlie "Hello Damian" Wheelan over 6 million quid a week in subscriptions.

And for that money you get absolute red hot insight such as this.......
Yes and I quote from this source "also warned that BA will lose business when passengers "look elsewhere" for flights during the peak summer period".

Money well spent.

BA announced a loss on Monday of £532 Million Pounds.
Coupled with last years Loss of 400 Million Pounds we are a kick in the ass off a Billion in 2 years.

My answer..............let it go to the wall. Swiss Air did and the Swiss still fly...........Sabena did and the Belgium folks still fly. Others providing much better service, much greater quality will come in and rescue the situation.
No other business in the world can sustain this type of loss.

Watching the Staff on TV, knowing full well they currently are the best paid in the industry world wide, they have the best perks.................shows raging contempt for the rest of us.

Shut it down ........... let it go..........its had its day.



Yes and for the record that is the same Tony who just came back from Cuba, no doubt on Unite expenses, to celebrate Castros anniversary............ooops sorry to assist his wife on recovery post an operation. He made a speech whilst he was there. I always make political speeches if I am assisting my nearest and dearest recover post op!!

Classic Commentator Gaffs

"Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him." -New Zealand Rugby Commentator

"And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!" -Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator

"Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew." -Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977

"One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my god! What have I just said??" -US PGA Commentator

"You'd eat beaver if you could get it." -Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on "Time Team Live"

"So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" -Female news anchor to weatherman

"Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday." -Steve Ryder covering the US Masters

"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this." -Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North

"Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets." -Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports

"They seem cold out there. They're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts." -Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1"s UK eclipse coverage remarked

"Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself." -Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson

"And here's Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago." -David Coleman

"It's a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs." -David Coleman

"We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite." -Murray Walker

After playing Cameroon in the 1990 world cup finals: "We didn't underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought." -Bobby Robson

On the difficulties of adjusting to playing football and living in Italy: "It was like being in a foreign country." -Ian Rush

Jimmy Hill: "Don't sit on the fence, Terry. What chance do you think Germany has of getting through? Terry Venables: "I think it's 50-50."

"I was in a no-win situation, so I'm glad that I won rather than lost." -Frank Bruno

"There's going to be a real ding-dong when the bell goes." -David Coleman

"There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people." -David Coleman

"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical." -Murray Walker

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." -Greg Norman

"There have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious." -Alan Minter

"Watch the time. It gives you an indication of how fast they are running." -Ron Pickering

"Just under 10 seconds for Nigel Mansel. Call it 9.5 seconds in round numbers." -Murray Walker

"A brain Scan revealed that Andrew Caddick is not suffering from stress fracture of the shin." -Jo Sheldon

"That's inches away from being millimetre perfect." -Ted Lowe

"I'll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing if the price is right." -Marlon Starling

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." -Terry Venables

"I can't tell who's leading. It's either Oxford or Cambridge." -John Snagge,
commentating a boat Race between Oxford and Cambridge

"This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother. -Ted Walsh, Horse Racing Commentator

"The Queen's Park Oval, exactly as its name suggests, is absolutely round." -Tony Crozier

"He's pulling him off! The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!" -George Hamilton

"The black players at this club lend the side a lot of skill and flair, but you also need white players in there to balance things up and give the team some brains and some common sense." -Ron Noades

"Bill Frindal has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator" -John Arlott

"We actually got the winner three minutes from the end but then they equalized" -Ian McNail

"We'll still be happy if we lose. It's on at the same time as the Beer Festival" -Noel O' Mahony

"I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better" -Ron Atkinson

"He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces." -Ron Atkinson

"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat" -Ron Atkinson

"Here we are in the Holy Land of Israel - a Mecca for tourists." -David Vine

"Morcelli has four fastest 1500-metre times ever. And all those times are at 1500 metres." -David Coleman

"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field." -Metro Radio

"... and later we will have action from the men's cockless pairs." -Sue Barker

"Her time is about 4.33, which she's capable of." -David Coleman

"Sex is an anti-climax after that!" -Grand National-winning jockey Mark Fitzgerald

"Well, you gave the horse a wonderful ride, everybody saw that" -Desmond Lynam

"To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch." -Ruud Gullit

"Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw". -Ron Atkinson

"For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip" -John Motson

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." -David Acfield

What will you do when you leave football, Jack, will you stay in football?" -Stuart Hall - Radio 5 live

"There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class" -David Coleman at The Montreal Olympics

"These greens are so fast they must bikini wax them." -Gary McCord on the greens at Augusta

My Socks and my Nuts

I am not doing politics.........not for a few days anyway...........not in the mood to rant, well not politically anyway.

However

Meet socks



Yes this little lady in this pic.

She arrived at my house a few weeks ago now.

She is a little over a year old and well anyone who knows about cats will say she is very small for a year old.

Anyway I came home from work and the house was dark and quiet.
On the front steps was this lady.
It was raining so she was under the canopy in the dry.
Well I said "hi" and brushed past her as I let myself in.

This went on for about 2 weeks
I would return home and she would await.

Until...


The day I returned home, said hello, opened the door and she let herself in.

Well this was horrific..........I was brought up with dogs and this is ....... a cat.

That was 2 months ago.

I have traced her original owner and well lets say she is better off with me.
She has been to the vet I have had checked, got her jabs and well errrr "had her done".............well I am not a charity.

She was named "Socks" due to her white feet (little white socks on).

I went the whole way, bowl with cat on it, cat flap, collar with a magnet..........the whole 9 yards.

She is a happy and very loyal cat now.....well as cats can be.
She is putting a bit of weight on and the vet says she is all ok.

But I have run into trouble.............Socks has a brother.



And he wants to move in to.

He is a few mins older than her apparently.............but sadly for him she got the brains. He is wired to the moon.

Again checked with the original owners and guess what.....same old same old.
He is small as well but in good health.

Well you probably can guess the rest.

So that leaves a name.............based on his colour what about "Nuts"

A Very Sad Day

I have very much kept this to myself but for 9 days now TLOTF has been dealing with the death of his most very best friend in a tragic motorbike accident.

My most nearest and dearest have been keeping an eye on me as well for a while I blamed myself.
Why you ask.
I was not even in the same county when the accident occurred.

Link Here


The reason for the blame.............it was me who got Calum into bikes, me who trained him, me who went with him when the first bike was bought, me who used to ride with him on Sunday afternoons.

If I had kept my fat mouth shut and not encouraged him then it would not have happened.

I have wanted to blog about this.
No not because of some morose love of misery............but because this has really bothered me.

Everyone has said you are not to blame.........and I know that.
But I can not stop thinking of this.
I can not stop the blame.

My blog has been quiet and I have toyed with the idea.
I have started many posts and deleted them.

However yesterday I drove to the spot and placed a wee flower on the area.
It was an odd feeling...........no not sad and I don't know why.

But I was absolutely raging as I found many pieces of blue faring not cleaned up.
So I did clean them up.

I cant explain why I am writing this post............I just have to.
I have lost close family members and indeed have a sister so chronically disabled that it is doctors that keep her going..........but for some reason they have not affected me like this.

I want to batter 12 shades out of tractor driver however the Police have not released a final report so I do not know the full facts.
But right now I suspect a tractor driver is feeling a lot worse than I am.

Tomorrow Calum will be laid to rest........and it wont be a good day. However dignity and respect will be shown but maybe a wee tear in the privacy of my house at the end of the day.

Please do not judge me for my post. These pages have indeed seen some hot rants, some vicious attacks and out pouring of rage.
But right now I don't really care.
Our new coalition government, the outgoing NuLabour movement..........seems but something in the background.

An odd post and I apologise to all...............I just had to write something.

Normal service will resume shortly.

Dr Liam Fox

Mr Fox,

Congratulations on your party and the Lib Dems agreeing terms of your coalition.

However your appointment as Defence Secretary..............errrr...... I think sadly Mr Cameron has made an error.

Please be advised both myself and my working colleagues find you a repellent and inherently weak individual. You have been proven to be a liar over your expenses and basically I will use the word thief.

None of us are happy at your appointment and feel others are far more suited.

Again defence and our military even with a change in government, is still being proven that it is being treated with absolute contempt.

You are a disgrace as an individual, a politician and to our military.

Badly played, Nick

I suppose the ultimate question is now whether the Lib Dems can be trusted to be a stable coalition partner?

How can Clegg claim to be serious about putting the country's interests first after promising he would negotiate only with the party who won "the most votes and the most seats" and then opportunistically holding talks to ransom over a half-arsed electoral reform promise?

As Peter Oborne says today, Clegg's dragging his own fresh-politics reputation through the mud, squandering both political and public goodwill - and for what? A slightly stronger promise of a referendum that he'll lose for a voting system he doesn't want.

But most importantly, if this is a sign of things to come, with Clegg snubbing negotiations as soon as Labour offers him a scalp, the coalition for freedom won't last long.

Badly played, Nick.





Thanks to Guidos Emily

One and the same

Picture 1 is Heidi Fleiss a well known hooker and Hollywood madam
See Here





Picture 2 is of Nick Clegg leader of the Lib Dems.




It is apparent they both work in the same profession.

Well according to David Blunkett right here, he is a "Harlot"

A Labour Politician with some Credibility ???

I watched this coversation with Dr John Reid on the election special last night.

I was left with a couple of questions.

Firstly I commended his candour and honesty but then thought why???

Yes he was a Blairite and no Brownluvvie so a cheap shot, he drags Blunkett into the fray.

Or is his comments about other elections in the future a case of the Labour Party Senior Members thinking this election is a result of Anti-Brown feelings and once he is on his way they will be back in power within 12 months as the Lib/Con pack will crash.




Mandlesnake is certainly quiet in the media but we all know the Dark One is heading the Liberal Task Force.

Mark My Words

I will not accept Clegg doing a deal with Gordon Brown on a lie about the economy linked to Labour Leadership change in the autumn as a method of Labour to hold onto power.


They are supposed to work for us.

This is not democracy.

Source

Fast Working Bankers

The part-nationalised Royal Bank of Scotland has announced it is cutting a further 2,600 UK-based jobs.

WOW

The cynic in me would have thought the Labour Govenrment which owns 2/3rds of the bank (Using my Tax cash) would have kept this quiet before the GE last week.

Damn those high paid executives work fast since Friday Morning Eh

Source

Anatomy Lesson for David Cameron

David the above picture is of some testicles.

See here

They are more commonly known as balls.

My advice...........GROW SOME.

Get along to No10, and get that useless bugger out on his ear.

Good god man is this what we are going to get from you???

Democracy eh!

Does not look very democratic to me.

A few suits getting together and basically playing a game of poker with me and what I want in a effort to get themselves into a new job.
A squatter who despite what his loyal servants Mr and Mrs Harman say has not won the lions share of the vote and insist on staying in No10.

CSR hits the nail on the head with his post and I quote "It remains to be seen what will happen with the hung Parliament. As we tweet, blog, text, poke and email our hopes, fears and concerns - young men from these Islands are gearing up for combat patrols in Afghanistan.

They will not be thinking of swingometers, LibLab, LibCon or Brown or Dave. They will be thinking about life as they walk into the valley of the shadow of death.

We have been told time and again they are there - fighting and dying - to bring Democracy to another nation. With a courage and dedication that humbles me they risk life and limb day after day to achieve this.

The nation has spoken and the nation has firmly rejected NuLabour. Now is the time to salvage whatever dignity and decency (if any) remain in Browns party. They must stand down. Brown must resign.

Too many troops have died attempting to give others a taste of Democracy to ignore it here. The covenant is broken - NuLabour I urge you not to spit on it."

So what do we do.

After all if I quote the 3 leaders during the farce that was the leader debates " We are the boss"..........Somehow I do not think they really mean that.


So what do we do........riot.............No we are British we will send a strongly worded email and a sharp ticking off.

Fuck me ragged.

Look the election result has achieved NOTHING. We need full hard and fast political reform in the country.
Our politics is still rotten to the core.

Tris gives these facts,
To win a seat the following votes are needed

Labour 33K
Tory 35K
Lib Dem 120K
SNP 82K

Scottish blogger young Tris so the SNP figure is for clarity to other. I envisage the Welsh folks nationalist party is not much different.

FAIR........my hairy backside it is.

The political establishment MUST be aware of the depth of feeling.
This cosy love in to find common ground is a non stater.

Full political reform is needed now.........urgently.

Otherwise politicians you may well be surprised at what happens.

Oh and then you enact the Civil Contingency Act,

Go on...........I dare you !!!

Hello Harriet

If you want to hear the biggest load of pure pish listen to Harriet Harmen.

Go here and flip forward to 1.23.00

Then laugh.

Fuck me woman .................... grow up !!!!

So What will our new Government do??

This is not a GE story.
You are probably saturated with them

However, The world does not end.

There are still huge issues to tackle and an issue that has fallen out of the MSM is that of the Chandlers.

See Here.
They are still being held by Somali pirates with no imminent sign of release.


However why has the UK government stalled?
There are 2 occasions when Marines/SBS have been put on alert and then stood down back by the powers that be.

Now think back to the US cargo ship.
US Navy seals arrived, took the ship back and killed the pirates................a clear message.

Yesterday this story appeared

A Russian warship is rushing to assist an oil tanker bound for China which has been hijacked by Somali pirates.

The Marshal Shaposhnikov was heading towards the Moscow University, which was attacked 900km (560 miles) off the Somali coast, officials said.

The 23 Russian crew on board are reported to have locked themselves in the ship's radar room.

But a BBC reporter says the Russian warship is unlikely to intervene as it could put the hostages' lives at risk.


Well the last sentence is a bit of falsehood.

THEY DID INTERVENE.

Russian special forces assaulted the ship.
All pirates gave surrendered and the ship returned to Russian control.

The war ship is shadowing the tanker for safety.

See here.

So why are the Chandlers still in custody?

I suggest to "Call Me Dave" should you manage to get into the Hot Seat properly in the next 48 hrs you put a fast call in the SBS/ Marines as they are the best at Naval Assaults and get that couple back here toot fucking sweet.

SHOW SOME BALLS for Christ sake

LEADERS' WIVES - ELECTION SPECIAL by Clever Pie

Take a bow Grumpy Old Twat !!!

Do You Really Know Ed Balls?

Pure Class form the Sunlight Centre

Nothing to do with Politics

But if you met one of these animals,

Would it not just scare the hell out of ya!!!!