Thursday, 27 January 2011

Sky Sports Gate



Or Graygate..............call it what you will.


Ok here is a question for you all.

Is the comments of Messers Gray and Keys worse than Prince Philips Tartan knicker comment to Annabel Goldie????

See Here

And everyone thought that was funny and laughed it off...........old duffer etc etc.


Double standards anyone ??

Wednesday, 26 January 2011

Scottish Star Wars

Sorry folks serous bad language alert!!!




Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha

Tuesday, 25 January 2011

25th January - To The Bard

Born in Alloway, Ayrshire, in 1759 to William Burness, a poor tenant farmer, and Agnes Broun, Robert Burns was the eldest of seven. He spent his youth working his father's farm, but in spite of his poverty he was extremely well read - at the insistence of his father, who employed a tutor for Robert and younger brother Gilbert. At 15 Robert was the principal worker on the farm and this prompted him to start writing in an attempt to find "some kind of counterpoise for his circumstances." It was at this tender age that Burns penned his first verse, "My Handsome Nell", which was an ode to the other subjects that dominated his life, namely scotch and women.

When his father died in 1784, Robert and his brother became partners in the farm. However, Robert was more interested in the romantic nature of poetry than the arduous graft of ploughing and, having had some misadventures with the ladies (resulting in several illegitimate children, including twins to the woman who would become his wife, Jean Armour), he planned to escape to the safer, sunnier climes of the West Indies.

However, at the point of abandoning farming, his first collection "Poems- Chiefly in the Scottish Dialect - Kilmarnock Edition" (a set of poems essentially based on a broken love affair), was published and received much critical acclaim. This, together with pride of parenthood, made him stay in Scotland. He moved around the country, eventually arriving in Edinburgh, where he mingled in the illustrious circles of the artists and writers who were agog at the "Ploughman Poet."

In a matter of weeks he was transformed from local hero to a national celebrity, fussed over by the Edinburgh literati of the day, and Jean Armour's father allowed her to marry him, now that he was no longer a lowly wordsmith. Alas, the trappings of fame did not bring fortune and he took up a job as an exciseman to supplement the meagre income. Whilst collecting taxes he continued to write, contributing songs to the likes of James Johnston's "Scot's Musical Museum" and George Thomson's "Select Collection of Original Scottish Airs." In all, more than 400 of Burns' songs are still in existence.

The last years of Burns' life were devoted to penning great poetic masterpieces such as The Lea Rig, Tam O'Shanter and a Red, Red Rose. He died aged 37 of heart disease exacerbated by the hard manual work he undertook when he was young. His death occurred on the same day as his wife Jean gave birth to his last son, Maxwell.

On the day of his burial more than 10,000 people came to watch and pay their respects. However, his popularity then was nothing compared to the heights it has reached since.

On the anniversary of his birth, Scots both at home and abroad celebrate Robert Burns with a supper, where they address the haggis, the ladies and whisky. A celebration which would undoubtedly make him proud.




Address to a Haggis.


Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin'-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o need,
While thro your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An cut you up wi ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
The auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
'Bethankit' hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi perfect sconner,
Looks down wi sneering, scornfu view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit:
Thro bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll make it whissle;
An legs an arms, an heads will sned,
Like taps o thrissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies:
But, if ye wish her gratefu prayer,
Gie her a Haggis!



And for those of you that do not know what a haggis looks like in the wild.........here is a rare photo.



A frightening beast............and hard to catch !!!

Saturday, 22 January 2011

The Boy Is A Legal Genius

A college student claims he was traumatized by a underwhelming session with a Las Vegas prostitute — and now he’s suing her escort service for distress caused by the "tragic event."

Hubert Blackman of New York would like his $275 payment to Las Vegas Exclusive Personals back, according to court documents, as well as a $1.8 million verdict.

According to the Las Vegas Sun, Blackman was vacationing in Vegas in December when he ordered a stripper to come to his hotel room. There, the stripper performed a $155 lap dance and a $120 sex act. But then things took a turn for the bizarre.

The Sun continues:

[Blackman] said that the next morning, he called Las Vegas Exclusive Personals to demand his money back, saying he was dissatisfied because the entertainer didn’t stay for the promised one hour and left after a half hour.

Blackman said he also told the company he was incapable of making an informed agreement with the stripper because he was drunk at the time.
When the company refused to refund Blackman’s money, he called the cops, who threatened to bust him for prostitution.

Blackman told the Sun he didn’t know that the trade was illegal in Vegas.



If it was not so funny it would be plain stupid.

Good Luck with that 1 son !!!

Friday, 21 January 2011

Spot The Lying Bastard Competition - Chilcot Edition




Have a go............its free to Enter !!!

Alan Johnson and the Twisted Ed Balls



Ed Balls really is a twisted sick bastard of an individual.

He was reeling from the arrival of Ed Milliband into the top chair of the champagne socialists club.

Then he saw his much coveted position of Shadow Chancellor go to Alan Johnson.



Then what emerges yesterday is this..............that Alan Johnson quit frontline politics after discovering his wife had had an affair with his police protection officer.



Now Alan had a feeling this was going on.............this was not a shock. Indeed rumours around Westminster had it going on............what was certain though was that the public did not know it and that it would inevitably destroy Alan.



Hours after the shock resignation, Scotland Yard launched disciplinary proceedings against Paul Rice, who had guarded Mr Johnson from potential terror attacks when he was Home Secretary.

The experienced detective constable, who has been protecting the current Home Secretary Theresa May, is expected to be suspended from duty within 24 hours.

Mr Johnson wed his second wife Laura, 47, in August 1991 and they have a ten-year-old son. But last night it was reported that the marriage was over.

Government sources said the Home Office had been made aware of the affair. Mr Johnson abruptly announced yesterday that he was facing ‘personal issues in my private life’ and could no longer cope with his high-profile role


So with Alan out of the way that leaves the door open for Ed Balls to walk right into his shoes and become the No2 to Red Ed.

Oh don't talk daft Tlotf.................pure coincidence.

Or is it.............?

It also emerges this am that Ed Balls Special Adviser Alex Belardinelli, as the person who has been making inquiries into Alan Johnson’s private life. Shadow Cabinet sources say they believe the Sunday Times has the story.

It is believed that Ed Balls’ people have had a hand in the story getting out.

Balls chose his moment well, a series of gaffes by Alan Johnson had left him politically weakened.



I don't think that Alan needed to quit over this. OK he was flawed as the Shadow Cash King.............he had made a few gaffes, but that aside citing that as the reason to quit need not have happened.

I am no Labour supporter but I wish Alan well and hope he gets it sorted.

Ed Balls however is a duplicitous bastard. He always was and always will be the prime ideal of a snake. This action if true means no fucker is safe. I now hope he goes on to lead the Labour Party and gets all he deserves as a result.


I watched ITV news last night...........I watched an interview with Ed Balls.
I watched him stand there spouting forth about Alan Johnson, great friend, great politician, great parliamentarian but I also noticed a smug fucking grim of self satisfaction on his slapable face, knowing he had got his wish even by his underhand methods. (check the link above for proof)

I only hope that people realise the Labour Party record on public spending, under Gordon Brown was also instigated by Ed Balls as Browns advisor in the treasury when he was at No11. The car crash has returned and god help us in the future should Labour return to power as we sit today in excess of a Trillion in Debt.




Ed Balls = wanker

Tuesday, 18 January 2011

Oh FFS ........... well seem like nice boys !



Oh superly duper.

A pair of "nice guys" have won a court battle because they are gay!

Well no not really.
Well yes really !!

Basically the owners of a hotel who refused to allow a gay couple a double room acted unlawfully, a judge has ruled.

Peter and Hazelmary Bull, of the Chymorvah Hotel, near Penzance, said as Christians they did not believe unmarried couples should share a room.

Martyn Hall and his civil partner Steven Preddy, from Bristol, said the incident in September 2008 was "direct discrimination" against them.

They were awarded £1,800 each in damages at Bristol County Court.

"When we booked to stay at the Chymorvah Hotel this was not, as some have suggested, a set up sponsored by a pressure group, we just wanted a relaxing weekend away - something thousands of other couples in Britain do every weekend," Mr Preddy said.


"Because we wanted to bring our new dog we checked he would be welcome. It didn't even cross our minds that in 2008 in Britain we needed to ask if we would be.

He said that the judgement showed that civil partnerships were legally the same as marriages.


Hazelmary Bull said the double bed policy was based on "sincere beliefs"

"Judge Rutherford has found that our treatment was an act of direct discrimination and therefore a breach of the law," he added.

OK

Now if you read further here into this you will see the now famous "Human Rights Bill" was used.


So the question I ask is .............

Are the human rights of sexual preference stronger in law than the human rights of religious expression????????

I mean we roll over and take it up the ass every day to pacify the ranks of the Islamic faith (excuse the pun) but now we are saying that being gay, and being of any other religious belief is greater than being Christian.



IMHO..............There is no other section of our society that is pandered to, bowed down too and generally given as much freedom and air time as that of the gay and lesbian movement.............Bloody ridiculous !!

Scotland to gift two ‘NEDS’ to China in return for pandas



Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond today signed an historic agreement to send two giant Scottish neds (non-educated delinquents, indigenous to shopping centres across the nation) to the People’s Republic of China. The gesture from the Scottish government is said to be a demonstration of the gratitude of the nation for the loan of two pandas to Edinburgh Zoo, and will see these two particular Scottish neds leave the country for the first time since an infamous trip to Ibiza in 2001.

The pair, named Shuggie and Senga, are breeding neds who are expected to produce a near endless litter of cubs or ‘weans’. Traditionally, the only neds conceived or born overseas have been in Spain, but Grant McDougall, Professor of Ned Studies at the University of Dundee, explained: ‘Neds actually breed very easily in captivity, which is why they are rarely allowed to share a cell.’

The neds will be under the custodianship of the Chinese Wildlife Conservation Association, who have turned a former monkey house into a suitable ‘nedquarters’.

‘We’ve put in a top of the range plasma screen,’ said keeper Tian Lee, ‘and there are mobile phones so the parents can communicate with their young. Greggs, the sponsors of the programme, will ensure that the neds are able to enjoy their staple diet of Irn Bru and pies, and we also have a wide selection of takeaway menus available should they decide to get a film out.’

‘If you close your eyes and face away from the bars you’d get almost no sense that this was once a monkey enclosure, although we have left the tyre on a rope. We reckon that’ll come in handy till we get their Kinect hooked up, though we understand there’s a risk it’ll be stolen, joyridden around the enclosure and then torched.’

Not everyone has welcomed the decision though, with wildlife campaigners and other people in pullovers expressing welfare concerns. ‘Neds are pack animals,’ protested Sophie Greenwood, a ned psychologist. ‘Out of their natural habitat it is likely that these two lone neds will simply pull their caps down and sit hunkered in a corner of their cage, looking shifty.’

A spokesperson for the Scottish government dismissed suggestions the neds would find it hard to adjust to life in China, insisting that both neds were very excited about visiting the country where their colourful trainers are made.

Alcohol Price and Binge Drinking



Shops and bars will be prevented from selling drinks for less than the tax they pay on them.

The minimum pricing would work out at 38p for a can of weak lager and £10.71 for a litre bottle of vodka.

Health campaigners say that is too low to have an impact but the drinks industry described the proposals as a "pragmatic solution".

In their coalition agreement, the Conservatives and Lib Dems pledged: "We will ban the sale of alcohol below cost price."

But under government proposals "below cost price" is defined as the tax drinkers' pay - duty plus VAT - rather than including the cost of producing the drinks.

It is understood defining cost price as anything other than duty plus VAT could have created legal difficulties.



Asked about the proposals for England and Wales, Professor Ian Gilmore, of the Royal College of Physicians, told BBC Radio 4's Today programme: "It's a step in the right direction but I have to say, it's an extremely small step. It will have no impact whatsoever on the vast majority of cheap drinks sold in supermarkets."

So the Professor thinks it is a waste of time. I happen to agree with him.
If people want to drink they will drink................prohibition always works does it not!!!
They will find the money somewhere............after all the high price of heroin has virtually stamped out the illegal drugs trade............pah!


Maybe it'd a double edge sword. People are skint,(yesterday at 17.15 we rolled over a trillion quid of debt, well the declared debt.......not the true figure), country on its arse, MP's and Lords still stealing via expences, costs through the roof, tax burden increasing and the only escape people have a wee snifter at the end of the day.


Last year, the Scottish Parliament rejected plans for a minimum price per unit of alcohol of 45p, after opposition MSPs said the move would penalise responsible drinkers and could be illegal under European competition law.

I do hope an English or Welsh chap does have a go under Euro Law about this............the outcome would be fun to watch.

I also suspect the green hippy lobby are watching and seeing if this works. After all it would be a fine way to further penalise the motorist by saying increase fuel costs further (Jeez No) and that would reduce car usage.

Well we are at approx £1.36 per litre of the diesel type stuff and await the onset of the £7.00 gallon...................I do not see people using cars less..........Oh no!!!

Its enough to drive you to drink !!!

Monday, 17 January 2011

Blue Monday

The most depressing day of the year is commonly termed Blue Monday, and it is a phenomenon which occurs once a year.

It is today Monday 17th January 2011

The original date of "Blue Monday" was actually mathematically calculated in 2005 by Dr. Cliff Arnall a researcher at Cardiff University.

Mr. Arnall created his formula for the most depressing day of the year by working six distinct factors into the equation: weather conditions (Gloomy old January and its typical lack of sunshine), debt level and our ability to pay that debt, time elapsed since Christmas, time elapsed since failing our New Years resolutions, our general seasonal motivational levels, and our need to take action and to have something to look forward to( During January, and depending on where you reside, there are no statutory holidays in the fore-see-able future. Gasp!).

Well that all a load of "Old Pony"

There is only 1 Blue Monday and from 1983 I give you.............






ENJOY !!!!!

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