Courtesy of the Captain in Ranty Towers .......... Tlotf has been given a copy of a classified document. This is namely a transcrit of the conversation in the war room during Seal Team 6 and the operation to "capture" Osama Bin Laden, as depicted along side this now famous photograph.
TRANSCRIPT WH-011/b-119 (DOD COMSPEC)
JSOC CLASSIFIED DOCUMENT
CLEARANCE G2 REQUIRED
COMGEN JSOC
Ladies and gentlemen, please take a seat. The operation is scheduled to commence at 0445 local time. Mr. President, the command chair is yours if you would like it. Mr. President?
POTUS
Who, me? Oh, uh, sorry, I was reading the reviews of my set at the Correspondent's dinner. Check this out everybody, I got three and half stars from the Post!
VPOTUS
You slayed
'em boss! Did you see that look on Trump's face? Zing!
COMGEN JSOC
Yes sir, it was quite impressive. Would you like the command chair?
POTUS
No thanks, I'll just sit here in the corner. I might have to bug out for my 4pm tee time. Dammit, how come I'm not getting a single bar on my iPhone?
SECDEF
I'm sorry Mr. President, the war room is scrambled during a Code Delta situation.
POTUS
How long is this thing going to take? I still haven't read my reviews at the Times and Huffington Post.
COMGEN JSOC
Undetermined, sir. SEAL 6 has trained against 16 different strike site defense scenarios. If you recall, I briefed you on those last night.
POTUS
Yeah, right during my rehearsal. And you almost threw my timing.
COMGEN JSOC
I... uh... no excuse, sir.
SECDEF
Quiet everyone, the satellite feed is coming in. This infrared image is from the inside of chopper 1.
SECSTATE
Wait a minute... is this SEAL team 6?
COMGEN JSOC
Yes ma'am.
SECSTATE
Why aren't there any women?
COMGEN JSOC
Ma'am?
SECSTATE
Don't act dumb with me, General. It's been 14 years since "G.I. Jane," and your so-called Special Forces are still engaged in gender discrimination.
COMGEN JSOC
Um... I'll have my staff prepare a report for you first thing post-target extraction, ma'am. Mr. President, if you look... Mr. President?
POTUS
Just a sec... I'm almost winning at Free Cell.
COMGEN JSOC
Mr. President, why don't you give me your iPhone and take this.
POTUS
What's this?
COMGEN JSOC
It's an XBox controller. It, uh, controls the SEALs.
POTUS
Really?
COMGEN JSOC
Yes sir. We thought by letting you participate in the operation, it might help make it less boring.
POTUS
Cool! What do the buttons do?
COMGEN JSOC
They... uh... just push them, you'll figure it out.
VPOTUS
Ooh! Ooh!
COMGEN JSOC
Yes, Mr. Vice President. You don't have to raise your hand.
VPOTUS
I wanna play too! Can I play with my Wii controller?
COMGEN JSOC
Sure, go ahead. And now, if...
POTUS
I call dibs on SEAL team 6!
VPOTUS
How come I always have to be the terrorist?
SECDEF
Dammit - Chopper two's rotor hit the compound wall.
POTUS
It's not my fault it's this stupid controller! The A button is sticky.
VPOTUS
Haha! PWND, American Infidel!
COMGEN JSOC
I've got - I've got confirmation... Chopper 2 down, but crew all safe.
POTUS
You're going down Osama! I'm at full health!
VPOTUS
Haha for you, infidel! I am have the kung fu moves!
POTUS
Ow! Dammit Joe, watch it with that thing!
COMGEN JSOC
So far so good... if the sitrep is accurate behind this door should be target location...
POTUS
Pa-pow! Pa-pow! Pa-pow!
VPOTUS
Hey! Those were my henchmen! Two can play at that game...
SECSTATE
Joe?! What the hell are you doing?
VPOTUS
I am to making you the human shield, stupid wife! Do not the talks to me behind your burka!
POTUS
Blammo!
VPOTUS
Arrr.... you... got... me... infidel pig...
POTUS
Woo! Level up!
VPOTUS
Lay down on the ground Hillary! He got you too.
POTUS
And the world is saved once again, thanks to Barack Obama, Navy SEAL.
[applause]
COMGEN JSOC
Mr. President, aren't you going to stick around to see the extraction?
POTUS
See it? I lived it.
Seems perfectly plausable to me !!!!!!!!!!
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